


Have A Little Trust

by HannahSheree



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-14 03:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannahSheree/pseuds/HannahSheree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt has changed dreams, not given up on them. For now though, he just needs to get by so he works full-time at a coffee shop. Things are going as expected. Something that is less expected, but unsurprising given his luck, is that Sebastian Smythe is actually a regular [pain in the ass] at the coffee shop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“Never once has any man I’ve met been able to love, so if I were you, I’d have a little trust”_

_— We Don’t Eat – James Vincent McMorrow_

 

_Chapter 1_

The school year was just beginning and the weather outside was warm and sunny, still holding the definite feeling of summer in the air. The calendar may have read September, but the weather had yet to get the memo that it was fall. The sky was blue, and birds would probably have been chirping. As it was, hearing birds chirping in the middle of a concrete jungle was an unlikely scenario. With all that said, it was still a lovely day, city or not.

It was a shame he was stuck inside, left staring out through the large glass windows at the beautiful day outside. The air conditioning was cooler than it needed to be, but thankfully, he was kept busy by making coffee after coffee, the heat from the coffee machine warming him as he carefully steamed the milk. It could have been worse, he supposed. He could have been the one actually taking the orders. He was a pretty social creature, but there was something about working in a coffee shop that left him loathing humanity by the end of each shift. You’d have thought that people would be a little nicer to people who dealt with their food and coffee, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Sadly, his main working experience had come from coffee shops, so if he’d wanted a job that paid, he had to work in this industry.

“Kurt, large skim latte!” His co-worker passed him a cup with the name  _Steve_  scrawled across the top. At least, he thought it might have said Steve. Her handwriting was awful. Kurt set about making the next coffee as if on auto-pilot. He’d done this a thousand times now and he’d be doing it at least another several thousand before his days were up. At least making coffee was somewhat soothing.

“Large skim latte for Steve,” He called, setting the drink on the counter. Steve came up to the counter, thanked him (a rarity) and took off out the door.

As the hour passed, Kurt found himself staring outside again, wishing the clock would spin faster so that he could get out of here and out there into what looked to be an incredible day. The initial rush hour had passed too, and he wondered if he could get a break before the lunch time rush.

Kurt set about refilling the biscuit jars, the muffins, and defrosting some of the pastries in the bottom cabinet. By lunchtime they should be at room temperature. Next were the tables, they had to be wiped, and plates cleaned. How had he gotten here?

Right. He’d needed the money.

Ever since he’d realised that his dreams of being on Broadway were old dreams, dreams from his high school self, and not his current ones, he’d left NYADA, instead of returning for his third year, and had thus lost his scholarship. Suddenly, he’d had to find a job that actually paid (something Vogue.Com  _still_  wasn’t doing for him; and whilst it took up a significant amount of time, he loved working there, and loved the connections, and loved everything about the workplace except for the minute fact that he didn’t get paid). And until he could build up a portfolio worthy of the New York School of Fashion application, he was going to be stuck in this coffee house, struggling to find any faith left in humanity. Even if he had a portfolio ready now, the NYSF didn’t take students during the year, so he was stuck there until the new school year.

At least his co-workers were tolerable.

“Kurt? Earth to Kurt?” A hand waved in front of his face. And then a smiling face popped in front of his own, and he leapt back slightly in shock.

“Ashley, you can’t just do that to people!” He cried, sad to be back in reality.

Ashley giggled. “I think we’ve got more than enough biscuits in there, Kurt.” She said, looking at the biscuit barrel he’d since stacked to overflowing. Kurt frowned and blushed slightly. How on earth had he missed that?

“Sorry.” He fixed the biscuits up, and stepped back from the counter, looking around the mostly empty coffee shop. And now came the lull. There was always a period of mostly emptiness between the breakfast rush and the lunchtime rush. It was always very bipolar in the coffee shop. One minute he’d be run off his feet and the next, he’d be forced to sweep the already clean floors, just for something to do.

Ashley looked up at him. “You seem kind of out of it today. What’s up?”

“Nothing. It’s just really nice outside. It’s a shame we’re stuck in here.” He said, leaning on the back counter as he folded his arms across his apron-clad chest. He sighed and stared at the stocked food cabinet. He needed something to do. Oh, they could use some milk. “I’ll be out the back.” He said, pushing away from the counter and wandering slowly to the large refrigerator they had out the back. As he pushed into it, he heard the front door open and Ashley greet the customer with familiarity. He heard them talking and soft laughter as they chatted away, while he grabbed a few bottles of milk, filling his arms, and ambled back to the front.

He nearly dropped the milk when he saw the customer.

_Please don’t see me, please don’t see me, please don’t see me,_  Kurt begged internally.

“Well, well, it looks like my prediction wasn’t that wrong after all.” A smarmy voice sing-songed.

_Shit._

“Nice to see you too, Sebastian.” Kurt said flatly. He placed the bottles of milk on the back counter and set about putting from in the small fridge they had out front.

“It may not be a Lima Bean apron, but those are definitely khakis and you’re still behind the counter at a coffee shop. If I’d known I was psychic, I would have bought a lottery ticket last weekend.”

Kurt, having finished putting the milk away, stood up, glaring at Sebastian. He held a hand out to Ashley, where she was making Sebastian coffee. “Give me his coffee so I can spit in it.”

Sebastian laughed. “Oh, you haven’t changed. Except,” his eyes raked up and down what he could see of Kurt’s body behind the counter, “the apron is a  _nice_  touch. Fits your whole… housewife look.”

Kurt glowered at him. Ashley hastily handed Sebastian his coffee, which Kurt was surprised to see he thanked her for.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you around, Princess.” Sebastian smirked as he sauntered out of the shop, leisurely walking out of sight. He didn’t look back at Kurt.

Ashley turned on him, eyes wide. “Sebastian’s a friend of yours?” She looked torn between amusement and horror.

“Past enemy?” Kurt offered. “Oh god, I was hoping I’d never have to see him again.” He wanted to rub a hand over his face, but he didn’t want to get any bacteria from his hands on his face. Disgusting.

“Um… he’s kind of a regular here.” Ashley said, looking guilty.

Kurt groaned. “How come I’ve never seen him before?”

“He went to visit his mom in Paris for the summer, apparently. I guess he’s back now that classes have started again.”

“Yippee.” Kurt muttered sarcastically.

Ashley looked at Kurt curiously. “How can you hate Sebastian? He’s one of our loveliest customers.”

Kurt snorted in disbelief. “He’s one of the biggest thorns in my side. Seriously what is he even doing here?” He glared out the window where Sebastian had disappeared, wondering if it was possible to make people burst into flames just by looking at them. He’d have to try it the next time he saw Sebastian.

“Oh, he goes to Columbia!” She said brightly, clearly not understanding Kurt’s utter contempt for the man. She hesitated. “Kurt, go take a break, okay? I’ll man the fort while you go and sing about your rage, mmk?”

“Gee thanks,” he muttered, but took his apron off and stalked with far less vigour then he would have liked out the front door.

As he’d suspected, it was a beautiful day outside. The air warmed his cold skin and he felt goosebumps race up his arms as they heated back to normal body temperature again. He wandered the streets slowly, enjoying the sunshine. He didn’t usually expose himself to sunlight, fearing what it might do against his complexion, but ten minutes here and there couldn’t hurt. Besides, the day was so lovely he was almost willing to risk a freckle or two. Almost.

He thought back to Sebastian, feeling just as much dislike for him as he did in high school. He hadn’t thought of him in years, but seeing him again brought back all the negativity. He’d been the one who tried to steal Blaine from him, he’d nearly blinded Blaine, had threatened to post disastrous pictures of his step-brother online, and had been exceptionally nasty to Karofsky pre-suicide attempt. Sure, he’d apologised and had even put forward a very generous donation to the  _Born This Way_  foundation, but that didn’t change the fact that Sebastian was a monster, and Kurt didn’t like him one bit. After all, if Sebastian hadn’t come into his life, perhaps Blaine wouldn’t have cheated, wouldn’t have even considered it, and perhaps  _then_ , he and Blaine might still be together.

It still stung. They’d been broken up for nine months now, and while they had finally managed to make it back to “friends”, he still felt the loss of his first relationship, the loss of what he’d been certain was his soul mate, the way things had been broken beyond repair. They really had tried to make it work again, but the trust had been shattered beyond repair. Kurt supposed he couldn’t really blame Sebastian for that; but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try and pin a bit of it on him.

The knowledge that he’d be seeing Sebastian on a regular basis did not sit well with him. Perhaps he could find out Sebastian’s schedule and organise his shifts to be when Sebastian didn’t come in. No, that would be petty. And immature. And Kurt wasn’t going to let Sebastian get to him, not again. He was an adult now, he could deal with it.

*

When Kurt made it home, it was dark. He’d been at the coffee shop until 2 before heading to Vogue.Com to help with some photocopying and hand writing invitations to various events for various celebrities. Ah, the life of an intern was glorious. By the time he’d finished, he’d had to catch the subway out to Spanish Harlem, walking home quickly and hoping nobody would take note of him. He was thankful that he lived on the same street at the subway station and could see his apartment building from the station.

As usual, he made it safely to his apartment building. Inside, he was safe. His apartment was on the second floor but he felt safe inside the building. Santana had seen to it that nobody would bother him.

Spanish Harlem hadn’t exactly been his number one choice, but the rent was cheap, the apartment nice, and frankly, there was no way he was going to be living with Blaine and Rachel while they fulfilled their NYADA dreams. It was less to do with NYADA and more to do with Blaine. Kurt just couldn’t be there. Despite their break up nine months earlier, he and Blaine could be friends. Living with him was something else entirely. Luckily, Santana had decided to move out to be closer to her college of choice, Kurt had jumped at the offer for another space, regardless of the location. In fact, it was easier for him to get to the Vogue.Com office than from the loft. So he supposed it had that going for it. But really, he was pretty sure he’d seen statistics that Spanish Harlem had some of the worst crimes in the city. It wasn’t entirely reassuring.

Kurt found himself wondering for the thousandth time if it would it be overdramatic of him to get himself a gun? No, Kurt was a pacifist, and Santana had reassured him he was an honorary… He’d forgotten the word, but he knew it meant that the fact he was the only non-Hispanic in the building wasn’t an issue. As long as Santana was around, he was safe. And Santana was scary, even to the other people in their neighbourhood. It turned out that she really  _did_  keep razor blades in her hair. He’d cut himself on them once while braiding her hair.

He unlocked his apartment door with a sigh of relief. He locked the door behind him and let the fan in the apartment blow through his thin shirt for a moment. The brightness of the apartment was a shock to his eyes after being in the dark and grey city for the past hour.

Pale yellow walls dotted with three bland white doors, hiding his and Santana’s separate bedrooms and bathroom, greeted him. The yellow walls were covered in tasteful pieces of art that Kurt had chosen himself. The wooden floors were bare for now, giving the room a generally wide and open feel that was more welcome in summer than winter. The windows of the apartment were open, the white curtains fluttered in the cool breeze laced with the smell of what Kurt was pretty sure was fried chicken. This place always smelled of fried chicken.

“Lady,” Santana nodded at him in greeting from their old brown couch. She had a textbook spread across the battered coffee table, hiding the various stains on it, a bowl of popcorn in her hands.

“Hey.” He sighed, dropping his bag beside the couch and sank down into the couch beside her. The couch looked old, but it was the most comfortable thing in the world after a long day at work.

She raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. “Long day?”

He nodded. “I feel like I could use a drink. And I don’t even drink.”

Santana held the bowl of popcorn out for him. “Tell ‘Tana about it?”

How this worked was beyond him. He’d never been a huge friend of Santana’s in high school, had had issues with her from day one. She was rude, she was inappropriate and yet… she’d somehow become his best friend, a better friend than even Rachel or Mercedes. He had to wonder if it was their ability to judge and snark so effectively that they bonded over. Alternatively, it could have been a friendship of epic convenience. She provided him protection in what he was convinced was the most terrifying neighbourhood in the world, and he cooked for her and painted her nails. Sometimes, if he was feeling generous, he even did her hair for her.

Either way, Kurt wasn’t going to question it. He trusted Santana with his life and she seemed to genuinely like him. As she told him when she was drunk “I have a lot of love for you, Lady Hummel. You’re like my slightly but only occasionally masculine little sister.” Once, when he’d snapped at her that he wasn’t a woman, she told him it was a term of affection. She hated boys; the fact that he was referred to as a lady was the greatest compliment in her eyes. Kurt hadn’t been so sure, but it had grown on him.

Kurt hesitated and then grabbed a handful of popcorn, shoving it gracelessly into his mouth. “Well, I discovered today that none other than Sebastian Smythe is a regular and much-loved customer at work.”

“Get out. What’s that bastard doing here?”

“Columbia, apparently.” He took another handful of popcorn, eating it with more care this time. “And then I spent the afternoon handwriting invitations.”

“Should never have let them see your handwriting. It looks like it was printed from a computer.”

“Mmm, that’s what they said. And they couldn’t print it; they needed it to have that  _personal_  touch. I mean, it’s just a quiet party with their three hundred closest friends.” He shook his head in disbelief. He loved his work, he loved Isabelle, but some of the things he had to do as an intern made him question his sanity for staying.

“I tells ya, you’ve got to get a better job. You’ve been there for three years and they’re still not paying you!” She took back her bowl of popcorn and settled with her legs over Kurt’s.

Kurt sighed. “But the connections… and the gossip. And the connections. And knowing what’ll be next season’s best.”

“I’m pretty sure you were good at predicting them anyway, Kurt.”

“I have to keep this job. I love it there, and it’s tedious, but I know it’ll give me the start I need.”

“I thought I was giving you the start you needed.” Santana said, quirking her eyebrows at him. Santana had been acting as a model for some of Kurt’s designs. He’d designed the clothing, made them, and she wore them. Poor thing had been pricked by more pins than he cared to admit.

“Santana, you’re modelling my clothes. You’re not getting me into Vogue.”

“I bectha my hot ass in your hot clothes will help though.” She pointed out.

Kurt grinned. “Admittedly.” She did have a hot ass.

They sat in silence for a minute, Kurt rubbing her shins through her sweatpants. “So, that meerkat is in town. Make sure you poison his coffee for me.”

“I’ll give it a shot.” Kurt promised, picking Santana’s legs up and setting them down on the couch gently as he got up.

“Stir fry okay for dinner? I don’t have the energy to be more creative tonight.”

“Any food is better than no food.” She reassured him and went back to reading her textbook.

Kurt grinned and moved into their tiny kitchen. He winced for the millionth time at the boring colours. The kitchen was painted simply another shade of brown and yellow that seemed to be the theme of the apartment. At least it was perfectly clean. For all that their apartment was awfully coloured and small (oh so very small), he couldn’t help but like it. As the loft had been a home, here felt like a home. He could have his sleek, modern apartment in a few years.

He set about slicing vegetables quickly and grabbed some organic chicken that had been defrosting in the fridge since that morning. By the time he had minced the garlic and whipped up a sauce, he felt calm and relaxed again. He could serve a thousand muffins a day and feel like he was about to snap at any second. But here, in his kitchen, cooking… it was relaxing. And at least the people he was serving were going to be grateful, instead of acting like they’d never heard of the word “Thanks”.

When dinner was set to cook for about ten minutes, he walked into his bedroom, putting his bag carefully in its place, and toeing his shoes off and putting them on his enormous shoe rack. He sat on his queen-sized bed and rubbed his feet a little, massaging them until they no longer felt like he’d been on them all day. He looked around the room with a critical eye.

He really needed to finish decorating the room. He’d been living there for six months now and it still felt incomplete. His bedroom was the same pale yellow, but he’d managed to find a lovely bedspread that didn’t clash horribly with it. The art he’d hung around the walls was perfect, and the mirror added a great deal of space to the room. He appreciated his shoes and clothing being on display. But something didn’t sit quite right with him, and he’d yet to figure it out.

He lay back on the bed, trying not to frown at the yellow light the single lightbulb cast over the bedroom. Outside, he could hear the sirens of police cars in the distance, and from beyond his bedroom door, he could hear Santana snapping her textbook shut and taking it to her own bedroom. He wanted to sleep, his bed so perfectly comfortable right then. Alas, he had to finish dinner. At least Santana could clean up.

With a sigh, Kurt sat back up, unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, and slumped back into the kitchen. Dinner was ready.

He’d eat, tidy, shower and then go to bed.

*


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

The next morning, Kurt was not surprised to see Sebastian appear shortly after the morning rush. Suspecting he’d be there, Kurt was more mentally prepared to see him. He wouldn’t be caught off guard this time. Unfortunately for Kurt, his co-worker had just gone on his break when Sebastian decided to show up. Kurt had been braced all morning, ready to see Sebastian, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see Sebastian alone.

Kurt knew his luck. He knew the second that his co-worker went on their break, Sebastian would be there, and wasn’t surprised at all when three minutes into the break, Sebastian sauntered in, the doorbell tinkling gently as he came inside.

He was, however, surprised to see Sebastian looking… good. He was wearing a dark and light blue striped v-neck sweater from Ralph Lauren that fitted snugly across his shoulders, white skinny jeans, and… were those sneakers? Sebastian Smythe was wearing what looked to be comfortable shoes? He was pretty sure they were Converse or Toms or one of those awful brands that everyone seemed to wear. It was such a stark contrast from the rest of his clearly Ralph Lauren/J-Crew mix… And somehow, Sebastian was making it work. He looked casual and relaxed, not like the pompous asshole Kurt had known once. His bag was again, Ralph Lauren but was an olive green canvas and brown leather that looked to be packed with books. Something about the whole image soothed Kurt, but he wasn’t sure why.

“Hummel,” Sebastian greeted, only a marginal amount of snark in his voice. At least it wasn’t some nasty nickname today. Perhaps Sebastian needed a coffee to get his daily insults going.

“Smythe,” Kurt countered, rolling his eyes. “What can I get you today?” He added sickly sweetness to his voice so that Sebastian would know that he was being sarcastic about enjoying having to serve him.

“Better learn my regulars soon, Princess.” Ah, there it was. Unoriginal, but an insult nonetheless.

“You could always stop coming here,” Kurt said, voice still sickly sweet.

Sebastian smirked and shook his head. “Not a chance. You don’t like it?  _You_  can leave. I’ve been coming here for the past three years.”

Kurt tried not to pout a little. Damn it, that was a long time to be a regular. There was no way he’d be getting rid of Sebastian any time soon.

Sebastian, clearly seeing he’d won that round, gave Kurt a smug look and then said “I’ll have a large coffee with a shot of Courvoisier and heavy cream.”

Kurt had started writing Sebastian’s order down when he stopped to stare at Sebastian. “Courvoisier?” He asked incredulously. It was still mid-morning!

“You try getting through law school sober.” Sebastian told him flatly.

“ _Law_  school? You have got to be kidding me!” Sebastian was the last person Kurt thought should be studying law, particularly given his history with yanno,  _assault, blackmail_ and _bullying_!

“Yes, Princess, Law school. I’m actually doing something more productive with my life than making coffee.” Sebastian smarmed.

Kurt fumed but didn’t dignify Sebastian with an argument. Sure, Kurt wasn’t exactly on track for his dream career yet, but it would happen. Things were just on hold for now.

“How the hell can you become a lawyer with your history of being a pig?” Kurt asked instead, snapping at him and all but slamming his notebook down onto the counter. And there was  _another_  fucking smirk. Kurt would definitely be spitting in Sebastian’s coffee if he could get away with it.

Sebastian leant on the till, the counter too low for him to do so on apparently. “Let’s just say… If there is a loophole or technicality in something, I’ll find it. It’s how I got through most of my life before this; why not spread the love?” He paused, giving Kurt a once over with his eyes. “You don’t have to prove someone right or wrong. You just have to place doubt in the minds of the jury, make them doubt it enough that they can’t decide. Do that, and your client can probably go free. It’s a lot simpler than people give it credit for.”

Kurt had to admit that made sense. And it was a very Sebastian sounding way of life. Perhaps Sebastian, asshole or not, would make a good lawyer. Instead of saying that though, Kurt just pursed his lips.

“So, is that coffee to go to have here?”

“Have here.” Sebastian leaned back off the till, hand going to his back pocket for his wallet.

“Light cream or-,”

“Heavy cream.” He fixed Kurt with a bored look. “Do I  _look_  like the kind of person that would have light cream?”

“Is that rhetorical?” Kurt snipped, writing down Sebastian’s order. “Anything else I can get you?”

Sebastian shifted slightly, looking in the cabinet where they kept their slices, cakes, muffins and cold sandwiches. “I’ll have…” He paused, humming for a moment, “the chocolate gluten-free muffin.’

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “Gluten-free, huh? Crazy diet or actual allergy?”

Again, Sebastian fixed him with a steely expression, laughter only in his eyes. “Again, do I look like the kind of person who needs to diet?” Kurt had to force his eyes from not running over Sebastian’s body again. No, he definitely didn’t need to diet. He looked far too good in those skinny jeans…

Instead, he just asked “Do you want that heated?”

“If it’ll mean more work for you.” Sebastian said, the laughter that had been glinting in his eyes now reaching his mouth.

“You’re an ass.” Kurt informed him and put the order through the till. Sebastian handed him a twenty and without waiting for change, despite it being twice the amount needed, went and sat down in one of the more comfortable chairs in the coffee shop. It had a view of the entire store, but also caught the sunshine from outside. From the way Sebastian settled easily, Kurt supposed that it must have been his usual seat.

As Kurt set about making Sebastian’s coffee and heating his gluten-free muffin, he watched Sebastian from the corner of his eye. He was bringing out a tablet now and a large textbook, setting the tablet on his lap and the textbook on the small table in front of him. He started tapping away on his tablet, clearly taking notes of some kind.

When Kurt brought over Sebastian’s order, he didn’t look up as he mumbled “Thank you,” and then wrote a few more words. When he finished tapping a few seconds later, he did finally look at Kurt. “By the way, my evening order is a half-strength mocha.”

“Noted.” Kurt said sarcastically. He’d learn it soon enough anyway. And there was no way he’d forget Sebastian’s order now. Seriously, who drank at 10am in the morning?

When his co-worker returned shortly, Sebastian was still there, tapping away on his tablet, occasionally flipping pages of his text book, frowning, tapping more notes, taking a drink of his coffee, tapping again, frowning… Not that Kurt was watching him. Okay, maybe he was watching him. But at this hour, Sebastian was the only interesting thing in the store.

Sebastian didn’t look all that different to the boy he’d known in high school. Sure, his shoulders were a little more filled out and whilst he hadn’t thought Sebastian had had any baby fat back then, he’d definitely lost it now. His face was all sharp lines, and… Kurt kind of liked it, admittedly. His hair was still done in the same style he’d worn it in high school, admittedly a little less gelled though, and he looked far more relaxed than the guy he’d known. Perhaps he’d grown up. A little bit.

Kurt snorted to himself; appearances aside, Sebastian had clearly not grown up, even if he was studying law at Columbia.

He paused. The math didn’t add up. Sebastian had graduated when Kurt had, meaning he should have still been in his undergrad course, and not yet in law.

The coffee shop was still empty except for Sebastian, so Kurt walked over to him. “How can you be in law already?” He asked, frowning. He didn’t know why he asked, he was just… curious. Sebastian’s eyes flicked up to him, eyebrows raised.

“I did an accelerated undergrad course. I just happen to be brilliant,” he bragged, “so they let me graduate early.”

“Honestly?” Kurt asked, not expecting an answer.

“Honestly. Besides, it was just criminal justice. It wasn’t exactly hard.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s better than what you’re doing.” Sebastian pointed out, settling back to his study.

“I’m on a break.” Kurt informed him stiffly. “I was at NYADA until this semester.”

Sebastian looked up at him again, and Kurt found himself sitting down in the chair across from Sebastian. The coffee shop was still empty anyway and his co-worker was reading behind the counter. Sebastian sat back in the chair, taking a drink of his now lukewarm coffee. “Are we sharing life stories, now?”

“No. But you can’t say I’m doing nothing with my life when I am.”

“Touchy topic, eh? I do love seeing you get riled up.”

Kurt glared. “I’m changing directions. And until I can put together a portfolio, I had to take the year off.”

“Portfolio?”

“For the New York School of Fashion.” Kurt informed him, folding his arms across his chest.

“Why am I not surprised?” Sebastian muttered more to himself than to Kurt.

“I’m just saying. I’m not doing nothing. You have no idea what’s happened in my life, so just because I work at a coffee shop means nothing.” Kurt snapped. He didn’t mean it to sound like things had been traumatic for him; just that Sebastian literally had no idea what was going on in his life at all.

“Oh pray, share.” Sebastian said condescendingly. “It’s not like I’m trying to study or anything.”

“Fuck you.” Kurt muttered, standing back up to go back to the counter.

“Tell Blaine I said hello,” Sebastian said, a tight grin on his face, before looking down at his tablet again.

Kurt stiffened, didn’t move. “Blaine and I aren’t together anymore.” He informed Sebastian, though not quite sure why he did.

Sebastian looked up at him with genuine surprise. “Oh really, now?”

“Yes. For about nine months.”

“Blainers want a real man? Or did he decide that if he was all but dating woman, he may as well date one with all of the right bits?”

“He cheated on me when I first moved here.” Kurt snipped. “We tried to make it work but… it didn’t. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Well, colour me surprised. That guy must have been a champion in the sack. He never even considered cheating on you with me. And we all know I’m  _pretty_  fantastic.” Sebastian looked amused. Kurt just wanted to knock that look off his pretty face.

“You’re hilarious.” Kurt said with no humour in his voice. He moved back towards the counter then, not keen on continuing the conversation any longer.

“If it helps,” Sebastian said, head back in his book now, “Blaine was an idiot.”

Kurt gave Sebastian an odd look, but Sebastian was back to tapping away on his tablet so he didn’t see it. Kurt just sighed and said “I know.”

*

Over the next few weeks, Kurt got to know Sebastian better. It was somewhat against his wishes, but it just happened. Sebastian came in between 9:30am and 10:30am every weekday, and he ordered the same coffee and always got some variation of a gluten-free treat. On Tuesday and Friday, he’d go off to his classes, but every other day involved him sitting in the coffee shop for several hours, studying. He’d order several drinks, and then wander off for his afternoon classes or something. And Kurt got bored easily, so when Sebastian took his quick breaks to order drinks… Kurt would talk to him.

He learned that Sebastian had a boxer dog named Jolie (he saw a picture of a boxer wearing a pink bow as his phone background and hadn’t been able to resist asking). She was apparently the runt of her litter, but it suited his apartment living well. She was also a good motivator to actually leave the house, as she needed walking at least once a day, if not twice.

He discovered that Sebastian’s mother lived in France, and his father lived in Maryland, still practicing as a State’s Attorney. Sebastian had been sent to Dalton given that it was his father’s old school, and his grandfather’s before his. Luckily, Dalton had been a boarding school.

The more he talked to Sebastian, the more Kurt found himself… not hating him. There were even times when he found himself liking Sebastian, or looking forward to him coming each morning. He even found himself adding a few extra gluten-free items to the orders they sent to their suppliers. Kurt knew their gluten-free options were dismal, and he thought Sebastian might like more variety, even if he didn’t know Kurt ordered them with Sebastian specifically in mind.

They never really spoke of anything of substance; current movies (which they had remarkably similar taste in), terrible fashions going around, and at one point, Sebastian had ranted, actually ranted, to Kurt about a case he was working on. It turned out Sebastian also interned at a law firm most afternoons, and whilst the vast majority of his work included fetching coffees and making copies of notes, he also was allowed to work on some of the cases, usually just doing research, but occasionally getting input. He’d had the position for the past year, even though he’d only been pre-law last year. They apparently trusted him, and his father’s name. Sebastian had no qualms about using it to his advantage. That morning, when Sebastian bitched incessantly about the logistics of the case, and precedence and something called double jeopardy, Kurt snuck in an extra shot of Courvoisier, just to calm him down. Sebastian hadn’t noticed, but he  _had_  calmed down.

At least Sebastian tipped well.

Another thing Kurt had learned was that he’d been right about his assumptions of Sebastian’s family: they were loaded. His father owned two homes, one in the Hamptons, and another in Maryland. He had also given Sebastian his apartment as a gift for graduating in the top of his class at Dalton (Kurt hadn’t really known Sebastian was smart, but he supposed he must have been, to complete his undergrad through an accelerated course at Columbia). His mother was made of old French money, and owned a winery in southern France, but apparently spent her life as a socialite in Paris.

It felt like Kurt knew so much about Sebastian, just from their brief daily interactions. And more to the point, Kurt was  _liking_  him from said brief daily interactions. He might even want to consider Sebastian a friend. After all, he always smiled at Kurt, and there had been times when they’d actually sat together when Kurt was on his breaks, talking and even laughing at times. Sebastian… was making him laugh, and feel happier, and lighter than anyone had been able to do in god knew how long. He felt, for the first time since he’d moved to New York, since Blaine had broken his heart, that things were actually okay.

Sure, he still had a year to get his portfolio in order, and get his career aspirations back on track. And yes, he may have been single and living in a horrible neighbourhood, and working at a coffee shop. Yet when he sat there with Sebastian, exchanging stories about the Warblers and New Directions, and discussing the most recent book by JK Rowling, Kurt forgot about all the hard parts, and felt completely happy in the moment.

Several weeks into their quasi-friendship… Sebastian stopped insulting him constantly, and Kurt didn’t even consider spitting in Sebastian’s coffee every day.

*

One Friday afternoon in the middle of November, Sebastian popped in a little later than usual to grab his evening mocha. Kurt grinned good-naturedly at him as he popped in the door. Sebastian looked frazzled.

“Can I have a double-strength mocha today?” Sebastian asked quickly before Kurt could start making up his coffee.

“Sure.” Kurt raised his eyebrows in question at Sebastian. “Long night of partying ahead of you?” After all, it was a Friday night and Sebastian had always made it very clear how he liked to spend his weekends.

“God I wish.” Sebastian groaned, looking forlorn. “I have this case study due on Monday, and my group is just  _terrible_ , and now I have to spend all weekend pulling all-nighters just to fix it. I’m not going to let a bunch of imbeciles ruin my GPA, damnit.”

“Oh. So no getting laid tonight?”

Sebastian’s expression was truly pitiful now. “Kurt, I haven’t gotten laid in weeks.  _Weeks_!” Unfortunately, now that he and Sebastian were kind of friends, Kurt had the pleasure of hearing about Sebastian’s overactive sex life. Kurt would have preferred to hear about his dog, but no, he was doomed to hear unwelcome things that resulted in him picturing Sebastian naked for too often for his tastes.

“You poor thing.” His voice was flat; he hadn’t had sex since a month before he and Blaine had broken up. To be honest, he didn’t really miss it. But that didn’t mean Sebastian was going to garner sympathy from him.

“Some of us prefer not to die virgins, Princess.” Sebastian told him sourly, taking the mocha Kurt passed over.

Kurt didn’t give him any response, not willing to divulge any of his sexual history to Sebastian. (And hell, Sebastian had spent a good deal of time trying to get the information from him!)

Sebastian paused, taking a mouthful of his drink, seemingly not caring if it scalded the inside of his mouth. “Look, not that I feel the need to defend myself to you, but I don’t go out most weekends anyway. It got kind of old a few years ago.”

“Oh yes, orgasms, they’re awful though. Hate them, can’t stand the thought of them.”

“Har har.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I mean… you have to get dressed up, and then dance with someone, and buy them drinks, and get chatted up by some of the most hideous men around, and then there’s the sweat, the semen ruining all of your clothing…” He looked mournful, as if recalling a particular outfit he’d lost. “And  _then_  after all of that, you have to somehow get rid of them. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of some people?”

“Can’t imagine.” Kurt intoned sarcastically, giving Sebastian a pointed look.

“Hey, I resent that. All I’m saying is, if I go out once a month these days, that’s it. I have other things to do, like study and graduate in the top of my class. It’s boring as fuck, but it’s just for a few more years.”

“As you do.” Kurt smirked. “Don’t worry, Sebastian, you’ll always be a slut to me.”

“Nothing wrong with being a slut.” Sebastian shrugged, unbothered. Kurt had heard him mention things before about slut-shaming, but he’d been talking about his sex life then, and Kurt had been fighting the mental images of Sebastian naked, and hadn’t truly paid attention. “Thanks for this.” He indicated his drink, and then hesitated. “I’ll see you Monday?” His expression was what Kurt could only describe as hopeful. Kurt tried to bite back his own little buzzes of excitement.

“Yes. I’ll give you a few extra shots of coffee if I’m feeling generous.”

Sebastian gave him a small smile. “I’ll need it. Have a good weekend, Kurt.”

As Sebastian left the store, Kurt realised that was the first time Sebastian had ever actually said his name without any hint of sarcasm, cruelty, or mockery. And Kurt then realised he was blushing for no reason at all, other than that Sebastian had said his name.

Shit.

*


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

Kurt had been smart enough to give Rachel Berry her own personalised ringtone. Very few people had their own ringtone in his phone because he simply didn’t care that much. But he knew when he gave Rachel her own, he’d be grateful for it. And every time she called, he was glad to have the forewarning.

When he answered his phone during his lunch break one day, Rachel launched into squeals of delight at hearing his voice, saying how they absolutely needed to catch up, have a girls day, or something of the sort, etc, etc. He wasn’t really paying that much attention; it was nothing against Rachel. He’d just been up exceptionally late the night before, helping Santana study for her exam that weekend. By the end of her degree, Kurt was pretty sure  _he_  would be qualified to work as a plastic surgeon, given how many of her notes he seemed to absorb.

With a quick shake of his head and a mouthful of coffee, he turned his attention back to Rachel’s voice, smiling as he heard her talking about the silly freshmen at NYADA, and the new dance classes she’d taken up at semester, and how she was sure Brody would be proposing to her any day now (Kurt tended to disagree but who was he to rain on Rachel’s parade?).

“ _So, will you and Santana be coming to the Christmas party_?” She asked, suddenly, changing topics so quickly that Kurt was sure he’d get whiplash.

“Christmas party? Oh, um, when?” Rachel and he used to throw such spectacular parties, but without Kurt’s input, he wasn’t sure how it would pan out this year. He was tempted to go, just to make sure things didn’t crash and burn.

“ _Next Saturday night. Oh Kurt, you have to come!_ ” She cried excitedly. “ _Everyone will be there! Brody, Delilah, Adam, Blaine, Blaine’s new boyfrie- Oops._ ” Rachel stopped short halfway through the word, but Kurt had heard enough to know what she’d said.

“Blaine… has a new boyfriend?” He asked, trying to sound casual. To anyone but Rachel, it might have sounded like he was okay. But his throat was tightening, and the back of his neck felt hot.

“ _Oh Kurt, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to_ -,” Rachel was rushing, sounding upset.

“No, no, it’s fine. I mean… we’ve been broken up for ages now. And… I guess it’s better that I found out now than at the party, you know?” He said, keeping his voice light, as if he were completely unbothered.

Rachel, for some absurd reason, bought it. Kurt would have to reconsider acting as a career if she was buying his lies. “ _Oh thank god, Kurt. I was so worried you’d be upset. And Jimmy really is so lovely_!” Jimmy? His name was Jimmy? Oh god. “ _And he’s a stage combat major and you should just see some of the stunts he can do! And he bakes all the time and makes dinner most nights and-_ ,”

“He’s moved in already?”

“ _Oops_.” Rachel sounded small again. Had she always been so awful at keeping secrets?

Kurt exhaled heavily. “Guess it’s pretty serious, then?” Again, trying to keep his voice light.

“ _Well… I guess. I mean… He and Blaine have been together for a while now…_ ”

Really now? “How long?” He asked, inspecting his nails, as if Rachel could see his feigned nonchalance through the phone.

“ _Kurt_ …”

His voice was harder this time when he asked “How long?”

“ _About nine months…_ ” She said, voice now tiny.

“…He moved fast.” Kurt muttered, more to himself than to Rachel. He and Blaine had only been broken up for eleven months, nearly a year now.

“ _Kurt, Blaine was devastated after you left. He wasn’t eating or sleeping and… Jimmy is good for him. He makes him laugh and he’s happy again and…_ ”

“How nice for him,” Kurt said snippily.

“ _Kurt, please don’t be like that. You left him, remember_?” Rachel’s voice was sad, and he knew in that moment which side she’d taken. While everyone always tried to stay impartial in a break-up, there was always an inevitable choosing of sides, and for months, Kurt had thought Rachel was on his.

“Rachel, he cheated on me! I tried to trust him again, but I just… I just couldn’t. Do you think I wanted to lose the love of my life?” He could feel his voice cracking, so he stopped before he started to get more upset than he already was.

“ _Kurt_ …” She said gently, “ _It’s been nearly a year. Aren’t you over it yet_?” It came out far harsher than he imagined Rachel meant it. She was right. It had been nearly a year, and whilst he and Blaine could be amicable, it still stung.

“No.” He said flatly. “Look, Rach, I have to go. My lunch break’s nearly over.”

“ _Okay_.” She sounded on the verge of tears. “ _Blaine loved you, I swear. But it’s been a long time, and it was time to move on for him. And Jimmy is so lovely, and he makes Blaine really happy_.”

Kurt didn’t say anything, just thought about how he and Blaine had once made each other happier than he ever thought possible. He had thought they’d make each other happy for the rest of their lives.

She sighed through the phone. “ _Will you at least come to the Christmas party and meet him_?”

“I’ll think about it,” Kurt lied. There was no chance he’d be in attendance, not knowing that Blaine would be there with some new guy, someone who made him happy, someone that wasn’t Kurt.

“ _Okay. Are you okay, Kurt?_ ”

“I’ll be fine. It’s just… a lot to take in is all.” He gave pause. “And you’re sure he makes Blaine happy?” That mattered to him. Even through all the hurt, he still loved Blaine enough to want him to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him. 

Rachel seemed to perk up through the line. “ _Yes. Very much so_.” She told him confidently.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later.” He said, hating it, but also feeling somewhat thankful. At least one of them got to be happy.

“ _Love you, Kurt_.”

“You too, Rachel…” He sighed and hung up, twirling his phone in his hands. After he pocketed it, he buried his head in his hands, not caring about the bacteria on his hands. He just wanted to cry, wanted to go home, curl up with some ice cream, and watch… Anything that wasn’t remotely romantic. Kurt had never liked gore, but maybe Saw would be a good idea. At least it probably wasn’t romantic, and wouldn’t leave him sobbing into a pillow on the couch.

Kurt leaned back against the wall behind him, drawing his hands from his face. It all hurt. It hurt to know that Blaine had moved on, and… moved on properly. Jimmy was even living with them! And it hurt to know that Jimmy and Blaine had been dating for months and Rachel and Blaine hadn’t thought to tell him yet! He talked to Rachel every few weeks, and Blaine every so often. Neither of them had mentioned it.

Perhaps it had been for good reason though. Kurt felt physically sick, like he’d been punched in the stomach. Months ago, it would have been even worse to hear. But the fact remained was that he was most bothered by how quickly Blaine had moved on. For someone who had claimed that Kurt was his soul mate, he’d forgotten that pretty quickly. But then, Kurt supposed that if Blaine truly had thought Kurt was his soul mate, he wouldn’t have cheated.

Kurt sighed, scrubbing his hands over his eyes, and stood, fixing his apron. He had to get back to work. Hopefully they’d be busy all afternoon and he wouldn’t have time to think about Blaine or Rachel or broken hearts.

The afternoon passed in a blur of customers. His chest and throat felt tight, pained the whole time, and his skin overly hot. He knew he wasn’t being overly cheerful, but that was fine. He’d known a lot of boring or bitchy baristas. One day of not being his usual charming self wasn’t going to kill anyone.

By about 5pm, his co-worker told him that he was being so miserable he should just go home. The worst rush had ended and they’d be able to handle things until the next worker started in an hour.

Kurt didn’t argue, still keen on his idea of curling up in bed and crying. He tore off his apron, not bothering to fold it nicely for the next day, just left it hanging on a hook in the back of the store, grabbed his bag and made for the door.

So caught in his inner turmoil, busy questioning every aspect of his life down to the colour of his hair, he didn’t see Sebastian walking in just as he was leaving. Sebastian also was apparently not paying attention, instead fumbling with his phone, and Kurt ran so completely into him that Sebastian was actually knocked to the ground.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!” Kurt gasped before he saw who he knocked, breaking free from his reverie. When he saw it was Sebastian, he wasn’t sure if he should feel more guilt, or less.

“Easy, Princess…” Sebastian grumbled, getting to his feet with relative ease. “If you wanted to touch me, all you had to do was ask.” He looked at Kurt’s face and his forehead creased a little. Kurt saw him taking in Kurt’s expression, and he knew it must have been bad if even Sebastian was looking at him with concern. “Okay, I’ll bite. What’s wrong? Sex and the City get cancelled?”

“Har. That ended years ago.”

He put a hand on Kurt’s shoulder and said “Wait here just one minute. Please?”

Kurt sighed and huffed “Fine,” at him, but not quite sure why he did. He guessed it was the “please” that got to him. Sebastian had always used appropriate manners when Kurt had served him at the coffee shop, but he’d never used it as a plea, not to Kurt as himself.

Sebastian gave him a short smile and walked quickly inside the coffee shop. Kurt leaned on the glass window, ignoring the cold that seeped through his coat onto his back, folding his arms across his chest. He had no idea what Sebastian wanted, or what was even compelling him to stay and wait, but… His day couldn’t get worse than it already was, right?

Several minutes later, Sebastian emerged with two cups and handed one to Kurt. “I got you a hot chocolate with mint. Darryl said you liked them.” He was talking about Kurt’s co-worker inside.

“Oh. Thank you.” Kurt took it from him, surprised. He’d known Sebastian was going in for his usual mocha, but he hadn’t expected a drink from Sebastian.

“Walk with me,” Sebastian said, not asking but rather telling Kurt to do so.

“I really just want to go home…” Kurt admitted sullenly.

“No. You’re my good deed for the year.”

“How generous of you…” Again, Kurt sighed and finally said “Fine.” Sure, he did just want to crawl home, but Sebastian had gone to the trouble to buy him a drink and even extended a kind of helping hand. Kurt figured that if he ever wanted Sebastian to offer again, he shouldn’t rebuff the first attempt.

It surprised Kurt when Sebastian filled the silence as they walked, telling him about basic things such as his day, and how Jolie had somehow opened his bedroom door last night and had crawled into bed, and how he’d woken up to a face full of dog. Kurt laughed at that, imagining that he and Jolie would get along swell if her desire to annoy Sebastian was anything like his.

Eventually, they reached a park that overlooked the river, and Sebastian lead them to a seat under a street lamp. It was starting to get dark, and was quite cold already. Whilst his coat was warm, and he had his hot chocolate, he knew they wouldn’t keep the chill in the air at bay for long.

“So,” Sebastian said when they were seated, several inches from each other, “talk.”

Kurt blinked at him dumbly. “Huh?”

“Talk. You looked on the verge of tears before. Talk.”

Kurt gaped at him this time. “You can’t just tell someone to talk and expect them to spill their guts for you. I agreed to walk, I didn’t agree to talk.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, fixing him with a charming smile. “I can.” Kurt continued to stare at him, not forthcoming with any information. “Look, Kurt. I do one good deed a year. I hate to say this, but it’s December and I haven’t done my good deed. Just… spill, so I don’t have to find a new good deed at such late notice, okay?” His voice was gentle, his tone teasing, and despite his words, Kurt knew that he was genuinely asking Kurt what was bothering him.

Eventually, he sighed and slumped a little. “It’s Blaine…” He muttered, feeling stupid.

“I thought you and he broke up months ago?”

“We did but… I found out he has a new boyfriend.”

“See previous statement. What’s the problem?” Sebastian looked genuinely perplexed.

“I guess… there was always a part of me hoping he and I could truly reconcile, and I’d learn to trust him again and… I guess I just thought he and I were endgame.” The words moved out of his mouth slowly, as if sticky, caught in his throat. “I really thought he was my soul mate, and we’d work it out somehow and…” He paused, getting a little more upset, pace picking up, “and then I find out he’s been dating this new guy  _Jimmy_ , for months now and they’re even living together and here I’ve been, hoping he’d one day show up with roses and that smile of his and everything would snap back to the way it should be.” He stopped, trying to keep the crack from his voice and failing. “He’s moved on and I’m still here, dreaming.” And shit, there were the tears, the tears he’d held back all day and now of course, he was  _crying_  in front of Sebastian. Despite their budding friendship, Kurt still didn’t want to be crying in front of him. He angrily brushed away his tears, avoiding looking anywhere but the ground two feet in front of him.

Beside him, he heard Sebastian shift uncomfortably, and then an awkward arm came around Kurt’s shoulder. Sebastian patted his shoulder a few times, as if completely unsure of what to do.

“Shit, I didn’t mean for you to  _cry_ …” He mumbled, tightening his uneasy hold. Kurt gave a watery laugh and because he was sure it must have been hurting Sebastian’s arm to be held at such an angle, he shifted a little closer. Sebastian’s arm settled a little more easily, and Kurt found himself leaning back into the hold. Had the situation been less awful, he might have been a little happy to be in Sebastian’s hold. But at the moment, he was remembering all he’d lost, missing Blaine, and wondering if he’d ever love again.

“Well, if you didn’t want me to cry, you shouldn’t have asked about Blaine.”

“I didn’t ask about Blaine! I asked what was making you upset!” Sebastian protested.

“Well, Blaine makes me upset.” He paused, feeling himself choke up again. “It’s… just not fair. We… we were meant to be that couple that got together in high school and actually stayed together. He made me this promise ring and… transferred schools to be with me, and I… loved him so much, and it’s just not fair.” He was definitely crying now, the words coming out in pathetic blubs, and Kurt couldn’t even stop them. “I just… if I hadn’t come to New York, maybe he wouldn’t have cheated and… then I could still trust him, and we’d still be together and…” He lost his words to a small sob, trying to take a deep breath. Wow, he wasn’t going home. He was going straight for the mental hospital. There was no way he could be pouring his heart, and his eyes out, in front of Sebastian, and still consider himself sane.

Sebastian was silent for a good minute. “You know Blaine’s an idiot, right?”

“Yes, you’ve said.” Kurt muttered darkly.

“And so are you.”

“Hey!” Kurt protested, glowering at Sebastian, who nonchalantly took a sip of his drink, eyes not even looking in Kurt’s direction.

“You and Blaine have been apart for, what, nearly a year now? And I get it, it hurts to know when someone moves on-,”

“How would you know?” Kurt snaps, hating how casual Sebastian is being.

Sebastian gave him a small, tight smile and for a moment, Kurt got the true indication that he did actually know. “I know.” He then continued, as if Kurt hadn’t interrupted him. “It hurts when someone moves on. But Kurt, he  _cheated_  on you. You think you two were soul mates? If I believed in that kind of crap, I’d have to say I wouldn’t think soul mates would cheat on the other, regardless of whether they move to New York or not. Or move on with someone else. I’d also say that maybe soul mates wouldn’t sit around a coffee shop every day, waiting for things to magically mend themselves, and still be hurting about it a year later.”

His words stung, but Kurt knew they rang true. They were things he’d thought about frequently for the past year.

“Blaine’s an idiot for cheating on you. I hate to say it, but you’ve got a lot going for you. At times, I even start to believe you’re not a total pain in the ass. And right now, it’s his loss. He’ll feel that soon enough. But… you’re better than that.”

“Not what you said once,” Kurt murmured, recalling how Sebastian had once told him Blaine was too good for him. He hadn’t often believed Sebastian, but since their break up, it was an insecurity he’d developed at times he was feeling particularly shitty about himself.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I was an idiot teenager. I said lot of stupid things. And if I dealt in regrets, I might even go so far as to say I regret the things that I said and would even apologise for saying some of those things.” He paused, grinning. Kurt stared at him, stunned. He was pretty sure that was the closest thing Sebastian had ever said to an apology. “Luckily, I don’t deal in regrets; otherwise I’d have an awful lot of apologising to do.” Kurt let out a surprised chuckle, shaking his head.

Sebastian shifted in his seat, turning to his side to face Kurt more fully, arm going to rest on the back of the bench. “But in all seriousness… Don’t waste your time on someone who won’t spend their time on you. You can do better than that, Kurt. So stop moping around waiting for someone who isn’t worth half the person you are, and find someone else. Or become your own person, or something. I forget how it’s all supposed to go – I never did pay attention in those self-esteem lectures from high school.”

“Because you reek of arrogance?”

“Because I’m fucking fantastic, and I know it.” He gave Kurt another look, one that Kurt was pretty sure was a look of concern. “Look… it’s not your fault that Blaine cheated on you, okay? It’s not because you moved to New York, or any other stupid reason I’m sure you’ve concocted in your mind. Blaine cheating is not your fault, or anyone’s but his own. And blaming yourself isn’t going to fix it, either.” He gave a beat. “Also, if someone is going to cheat… they’re going to do it, whether today, or a year from now. I should know, I’ve helped enough bastards cheat. It’s not the other guys fault, and it’s not your fault. It’s his fault, and nobody else’s. So stop blaming yourself. It gets boring after a while.”

And for some reason, his brutal honesty didn’t bother him. Kurt just… inhaled a little, taking a few deep breaths. These were things he’d been saying to himself before, but… hearing them from someone else helped, almost as if they confirmed his thoughts.

“In conclusion,” Sebastian said, grinning, “I think Blaine’s an idiot for cheating. I think you’re an idiot for blaming yourself. I also think you’re an idiot for waiting around for someone who hurt you, when you could be out getting naked with plenty of other pretty boys in New York City.”

Kurt scrubbed at his cheeks, disliking the feeling of dried tears on them. “I really hope that’s not how you conclude your cases in Court.” He joked.

“Oh please.” Sebastian gave Kurt’s shoulder another awkward squeeze before letting go, scooting an inch apart from Kurt again. “You all good now?”

Kurt nodded, flushing with embarrassment at having just shared all of that with Sebastian. Sebastian also looked a little uncomfortable, but mostly… smiling through his concern.

“Um. Yes. Thank you.” Kurt said. He saw a damp patch on Sebastian’s coat. “Um… sorry I got your coat a bit wet.”

Sebastian sighed a little dramatically. “Were I a straight man, that would be sound far sexier than it actually does.”

Kurt blanched. “Ew.”

Sebastian nodded. “I feel the exact same way.” He stood up, offering the hand not clutching his now empty cup to Kurt. Kurt stared at it for a second and then took it, liking the coolness of his fingers. Once standing, he released Sebastian’s hand and they tossed their empty cups into a bin as they passed. When they reached the edge of the park, they stood awkwardly, not sure of what to do.

“I think you should catch a cab home,” Sebastian said eventually, frowning at the dark sky. Out of the lamplight, Kurt could see their breath making little puffs of white mist in the dark air.

“I’ll be fine.” Kurt told him. He’d caught the subway at far later hours than this. It just seemed late because it had become dark so quickly. “What about you?”

“Oh, I live just down the block.” Sebastian shrugged. He noticed a cab and hailed it, grabbing a fifty from his wallet. He handed it to the cab driver and said “Take him home,” before Kurt could even protest properly.

At another time, he might have argued properly, but frankly, he was worn out, emotionally and physically. Instead of arguing, he just exhaled heavily and said “Thank you…” He paused. “Um, for everything.” For the drink, for talking to him, for not making fun of his crying, and for the cab ride home. He knew Sebastian would understand.

Sebastian shrugged a little sheepishly. “Consider it next year’s good deed as well. I’m ahead now!”

Kurt laughed and ducked into the cab, calling “See you tomorrow!” out to Sebastian.

When he got home, Kurt didn’t curl up with ice cream and sob himself to sleep. Instead, he took a shower, ate only one bowl of ice cream, packed up any lingering items that reminded him of Blaine, put them out in the kitchen for Santana to get rid of, and read a chapter of a book he’d been putting off reading.

While his insides still hurt, and his heart still ached, things felt a little better now.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

Kurt didn’t go to the Christmas party, just as he’d anticipated.

He went home for a few days before Christmas, spent the days with his small family, simply enjoying the time he had off. He wasn’t able to get Christmas off, however, and flew back to New York on Christmas Eve morning. Despite being down about knowing he’d be away from his family for the actual Christmas, he was glad he’d been able to take the week to be with his family.

Kurt was unsure whether or not he was glad that he had to work Christmas Eve. On one hand, he knew it would be busy and people tended to be generous at this time of year, plus his boss was paying him extra for the day. On the other hand, far more important than money, was the fact that he was spending Christmas Eve at work, away from his family.

As it turned out, working wasn’t too bad. Most people were very friendly to him, chirping, bubbling with happiness. He was run off of his feet for most of his shift, with people needing coffee to help get them through last minute shopping trips. The coffee shop became a hub for friends and couples to catch up, sitting curled into chairs together, or laughing around cake and hot chocolate. Kurt found himself getting cheered by the simple atmosphere of the coffee shop.

By eleven, most of the customers had disappeared, only a few lingering. The coffee shop was going to be open for another half hour, but Kurt found himself enjoying the hush, the soft murmurs of conversation. The lights in the shop were down, the majority of the place being lit by Christmas lights he’d put up last week. It was almost ethereal, he decided, with the soft glow of light contrasting to the darkness and cold outside.

He couldn’t help but feel like his heart was light, and even when he thought of Blaine, wondering what he was doing that night, he didn’t feel any bitterness or sadness. Instead, as soon as the thought of Blaine popped into his head, Sebastian did too. Talking to Sebastian had actually, oddly enough, helped. For the first time all year, thinking of Blaine didn’t sting. The thought of Sebastian however… It made his stomach tighten, and he smiled a little giddily to himself, then wondering what Sebastian was doing that evening. He was probably in Paris, or something. They hadn’t actually discussed their holiday plans.

Sebastian had been a frazzled mess for most of December, gulping coffee, and looking exhausted. He had said that he was studying for exams, his final exam on December 23rd. Oh, perhaps he wasn’t in France, Kurt mused.

It was getting close to closing, almost ten minutes left, when the door tinkled, a gust of cold air blowing in. He glanced up, prepared to greet the customer when he felt his face breaking into a wide grin. Perhaps it was just the Christmas spirit getting to him, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t seen him in about a week but… Kurt couldn’t help but beam.

“Sebastian!”

Sebastian looked pleasantly surprised to see him. “You’re back!” He said, shuffling forward, hands tucked into his pockets. “I was wondering where you’d disappeared to.”

“I went back to Ohio to celebrate Christmas.” Kurt told him, going to the coffee machine and setting about making a peppermint hot chocolate that he knew Sebastian was quite fond of. “How were your exams?

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Well, exams. They kind of suck.”

“Do you think you passed at least?”

There was a look of mild shock in his expression. “Kurt, it’s never a matter of passing or failing. It’s a matter of how well I do.”

“Oh, how silly of me.” Kurt joked. He’d never really picked it, although he wasn’t truthfully that surprised, but Sebastian seemed to be somewhat of a genius. He had a 3.8 average, and had apparently been valedictorian in his undergrad course. Combined with what he knew of his high school days (Captain of the Warblers, Lacrosse Captain and Vice Captain of Dalton), Kurt sometimes had to wonder what kind of gods he’d had to bribe. It was simply unfair how perfect his life seemed. And perhaps, if Sebastian hadn’t seemed more grounded, or if he didn’t give the impression that he studied 90% of the time, Kurt might have resented him. As it was, Sebastian had actually started to seem kind of human to him, and he couldn’t help but be… kind of proud of Sebastian for all that he had achieved (particularly for no longer being a total asshole).

Kurt handed over Sebastian’s drink and when Sebastian reached for his wallet, Kurt shook it away. “Consider it your Christmas present.” He teased.

“Thanks!” Sebastian said brightly. With the smile, the exhaustion in his face eased. Kurt supposed he hadn’t had a chance to catch up on his sleep yet.

Kurt glanced at the time and realised it was nearly time to close, and the remaining customers were waving as they left. He went to the door and locked it, leaving him and Sebastian alone.

“Sorry I came in just before closing,” Sebastian said sheepishly.

“No, no, it’s fine.” He went and made himself a hot chocolate, adding cinnamon to his. “Are you doing anything now?” Sebastian shook his head. “Stay here. We can see in Christmas.”

“You just don’t want to leave the warmth, do you?” Sebastian teased, but looking like he didn’t like the idea of going outside into the snow much either.

“Nope.” Kurt chirped, kicking off his shoes and curling up in one of the overstuffed chairs in a corner, close to one of the heaters. Sebastian sat across from him, undoing his scarf and coat as he did so.

They sat and spoke softly for well over an hour, not even noticing when the clock hit midnight, turning Christmas Eve into Christmas Day. It was only when Sebastian started yawning that Kurt noticed the time and decided they both needed to head home to their respective beds.

 “Shit…” Sebastian muttered, noticing it first. Kurt looked up from where he was locking the front door of the coffee, struggling with the lock with cold and clumsy hands.

“Fucking… Ashley…” He said, rolling his eyes at the mistletoe. He didn’t know why she’d put it above the door, of all places. Nobody really stood there anyway, instead preferring to rush inside to the warmth.

“What happens if you don’t kiss under the mistletoe?” Sebastian asked, still staring at it.

“I’m not that bad of a kisser!” Kurt joked, looking uncomfortable.

“Fine…” Sebastian sighed. “I’ve heard it’s bad luck for your love life if you ignore a mistletoe kiss.”

“As if you believe in love,” Kurt scoffed.

“I have a sex life. They’re the same thing, right?”

“Funny.” Kurt’s eyes were getting excessive exercise from the amount of times he rolled them around Sebastian. He was about to bite something else out when he felt Sebastian’s hands on his shoulders. He’d imagined that, if they  _did_  kiss, it’d be a light peck on the cheek, maybe a quick and awkward press of the lips.

But then, Sebastian was… staring at him, something unknown in his expression. Kurt didn’t recognise it, couldn’t pick the emotion. Kurt supposed it was the dark light, but Sebastian’s pupils were wide and dark, and… Kurt couldn’t stop looking between Sebastian’s eyes and his mouth. Given the way Sebastian’s eyes were flicking back and forth, nor could he, apparently.

Sebastian licked his lips slightly, sucking his bottom lip momentarily and, hands tightening on Kurt’s shoulders as he pulled Kurt in slightly, leaning in himself and…

Oh.

Sebastian’s mouth was cool against his, not just a gentle press but more of a slide, easing his lips in to fit with Kurt’s. He sucked Kurt’s upper lip briefly, and Kurt tasted hot chocolate and Sebastian. It lasted all of six seconds and when Sebastian pulled away, Kurt could have sworn his face was bright red. He wasn’t too sure in the dim light.

“Merry Christmas, Kurt.” Sebastian said, voice soft.

Kurt blinked at Sebastian several times before clearing his throat and trying to appear unflustered by their brief kiss. “Merry Christmas…” He breathed.

Sebastian grinned at him then, breaking the moment and said “I’ll see you later!” and walked off into the dark night while Kurt just stood there, completely unsure of how to feel.

*

In the end, Kurt had decided not to worry about the kiss under the mistletoe. It had been exactly that. There had been no build up, and while it had been a nice kiss, and he had been  _sure_  he felt some kind of sexual tension between he and Sebastian, the lead and follow up to the kiss had been small and casual between them.

Of course, Kurt had enjoyed the kiss far too much. He couldn’t help replaying over and over in his mind the feeling of Sebastian’s lips against his, or the brief taste he’d had.

And then, when he started to imagine doing  _more_  with Sebastian (such as kissing while naked, kissing in the shower, under the covers, kissing more than just his mouth), Kurt promptly shut the thoughts away and decided he was going for a run, snow and scary neighbourhood or not.

*

The next time Kurt saw Sebastian, things were as normal between them. There was no reference to the kiss, and Kurt came to the conclusion that it really had just been a quick mistletoe kiss, no feelings involved. He told himself it was a relief, but really, he was kind of disappointed.  He really didn’t like where this was going.

*

It was the middle of January when Sebastian, out of nowhere, leaned across the bench in the coffee shop and asked Kurt to go out with him. His red scarf looked remarkably good on him, and fit perfectly with his skin tone, Kurt couldn’t help but notice. Only after he’d noticed Sebastian’s clothing did he notice exactly what Sebastian had said.

Kurt stared at him incredulously for a moment before squawking an undignified “Huh?”

“There’s a new French restaurant that’s opened, and I need someone to come with me. Of everyone I know in New York, you’re the only person I think might be remotely interested.” Sebastian justified, looking neither smug nor unsure. He looked rather neutral, but the barest hints of a smile on his face. He handed over his card for Kurt to run through the machine absently, still staring firmly at Kurt. When Sebastian loosened the scarf around his neck, and let it hang over his shoulders only, Kurt tried not to stare at his neck. When had he become attracted to necks? Hell, when had he become attracted to  _Sebastian_?

Kurt frowned slightly at him, took the card and ran through Sebastian’s usual order. The loosening of the scarf and the fact that Sebastian unbuttoned his peacoat told Kurt that he’d be having it there instead of to-go. Kurt couldn’t blame him; outside was freezing, and the snow was grey and awful.

“Why?”

“I said,” Sebastian repeated, “It’s a new place. I can’t exactly go alone, and you’re the only person who might be interested.” He took the card back from Kurt, fingers brushing slightly. Kurt tried not to gasp at the casual touch. Was Sebastian asking him on a date, or just a casual dinner between… friends?

Kurt hesitated. There was no way he could afford to go to any place Sebastian wanted to go, even if he wanted to.

As if Sebastian was reading his mind, he popped in “I’ll pay.” He was using a sing-song voice, as if cajoling Kurt. “Even buy you some fancy champagne?”

Kurt still hesitated. He didn’t know how he felt about charity. But… he did love French food.

“I don’t mind!” Sebastian continued, judging Kurt’s hesitation accurately again. “You’re doing me a favour, it’s the least I can do.”

Kurt snapped open the food cabinet, and heated up Sebastian’s muffin. When he set it down in front of Sebastian, he finally sighed, still feeling terribly reluctant, “Fine. But only if you pay.”

Sebastian grinned at him. “Great! It’s a date!”

Kurt gave him a flat look. “It’s really not.”

Sebastian smirked, playfulness in his eyes. “I’m paying. It absolutely is.” He jerked his head at the coffee machine, indicating to Kurt he wanted his drink sooner rather than later.  

Kurt scowled as he started heating the milk. He actually doubted it was a date and figured that Sebastian was just winding him up. The laughter in his eyes told him that much. He decided to play along. “Fine. But I’m not putting out at the end of it.” He joked finally as he handed over Sebastian’s drink.

“We’ll see about that!” Sebastian laughed, winking at Kurt and taking his coffee and muffin to his usual table and bringing a book out to set on his lap. He disappeared into his world and Kurt went back to the tidying he’d been doing before Sebastian had come in.

Eventually, with that done, he wandered over to where Sebastian was still absorbed in his book. There were no customers around and with the weather being as such outside; Kurt wasn’t expecting anyone until the lunchtime rush. He dropped into the seat across from Sebastian, lounging in it casually. Sebastian looked up through his hair for a second, seemingly surprised to see Kurt before he leant back in his own chair.

“What’s up?” He asked, bending to take another sip of his coffee. Kurt wrinkled his nose; surely the coffee was cold by now. Perhaps he should offer to reheat it.

Kurt brought a hand under his chin, leaning on his arm. “So, when and where is this so-called date?” He asked.

Sebastian smiled. “January fourteenth okay for you?” Kurt nodded. He could get that Thursday night off from Vogue if necessary. “The place is called  _C’est Bon_. They started in Australia, of all places, and have just opened their second restaurant here. Apparently the food is divine. Very exclusive.”

“And you just happened to get a table there?”

“Of course.” Of course, Kurt thought. It wasn’t even a question.

“Where is it?”

“Still Upper West Side. We can meet here at seven? Reservation is for 7:30. Black tie, of course. Though, knowing you, you’ll wear a pink tie regardless.”

“Of course.” Kurt deadpanned. He couldn’t suppress the little bit of excitement he felt at getting dressed up and going somewhere nice, even if it was with Sebastian. He looked at the large textbook in Sebastian’s lap and elected to change the topic. “What are you working on?”

“Oh, just contracts. Quite boring, if I’m to be honest. But it’s necessary.” He sighed and rubbed a hand through his ungelled hair. It stuck at some strange angles and was a completely different look from the usually put-together Sebastian he knew. Despite Kurt’s love of tidy hair, both on himself and others, he couldn’t help but like the look on Sebastian.

Kurt shook his head, amused. “I still find it exceptionally strange, the idea of you becoming a lawyer.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “As I’ve said, if there is a loophole, I’ll find it.”

“I don’t doubt it.” He tilted his head. “So, if you don’t like contracts, which area of law are you going to work in?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Ideally, criminal law, do the whole ‘follow my father’s footsteps and then take some more’ thing. Maybe become a judge. If that doesn’t pan out, potentially family law. There’s a lot of money in people getting married far too quickly.”

“That’s awful!”

Sebastian shrugged again. “So are people. Divorces tend to get very nasty.” He gave a grimace.

“Your parents aren’t together, are they?” Kurt knew his mother and father lived on separate continents, but he wasn’t sure what the status of their relationship was.

Sebastian pulled a face. “Very nasty divorce. Was great fun to get caught in the middle of. I got to hear my parents say some of the _loveliest_  things about each other, which is always nice for a kid to hear.”

Kurt’s expression saddened. While his mother had been dead for years, he’d never heard anything but the kindest things said about her. He couldn’t imagine anybody saying anything horrible about her, let alone his father. The same went for his father.

“I’m sorry.” Kurt said softly, looking rueful.

Sebastian shrugged. “As I said, people get nasty with divorces. It’s worse when there’s a lot of money involved, and neither particularly wants to take the kid.”

Kurt gaped, but Sebastian didn’t seem too bothered by it. “What?”

Sebastian was very casual when he answered Kurt. “Well, my dad was very busy being a state’s attorney, and my mother wanted to live her socialite life. Don’t get me wrong, they love me. But neither felt their lives were conducive to raising a child, and felt I would always be better off anywhere but with them.”

“That’s awful…” Kurt breathed. How was Sebastian so cool with this? He didn’t look in the slightest bit bothered, and Kurt had started to become far better at reading Sebastian. “Why would they have a child if neither felt they could raise one?”

“Uh, they need an heir?” Sebastian told him as if it was the dumbest question he’d ever heard. Kurt must still have looked exceptionally bothered because he leaned forward, trying to explain it better. “Look, most people have kids because they’re too stupid to use protection, to save a marriage, or occasionally because they want a kid. In some families, like mine, families with old money… They need an heir. I mean, sure, they could give the money to someone else and name them as their heir but usually, they like the money to stay in the family. So my parents had an heir, got a nanny for me, and then when they divorced spent their time trying to convince everyone that their ex was better equipped to raise their child than they were.”

“I’m not going to pretend to understand.” Kurt told him truthfully. “So… where did you end up?”

Sebastian smiled. “First three years in France, and then the family moved over here until I was eight. Then there was the divorce, a year worth of fighting in the USA and mama moved back to France with me. I was there until I was seventeen before I got shipped back here. By then, I was old enough for boarding school, so father sent me to Dalton. And… the rest is history.”

Kurt shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t understand how you can not… care.” That said, the whole situation explained far more about Sebastian than it didn’t.

Sebastian just shrugged and went back to his book, clearly bored with the conversation. “I kind of knew what was happening from day one and it’s what I’ve always grown up with. And at least my nanny was kind of cool.” He saw Kurt’s expression again and just sighed. “It’s  _fine_ , Kurt.”

Kurt sighed, knowing it was none of his business. Sebastian seemed fine with it, and he knew not everyone was as lucky as he was in terms of their parents. Despite this, he was about to open his mouth and ask more when a group of young women walked in, and he gave a small smile to Sebastian and returned to the counter to serve them. After that, there was a rush of customers and the next time he saw Sebastian, he was lingering at the door, waiting to catch Kurt’s eye before giving him a wave and leaving the coffee shop.

Butterflies and warmth erupted unexpectedly in his stomach, secretly pleased that Sebastian had waited around to say goodbye to him. He shoved any of those thoughts away, determined not to feel anything for Sebastian.


End file.
